idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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