he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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