3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
