why didn't you poke me back
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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