And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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