Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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