Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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