Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
