i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
