Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
