He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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