Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
