babies were throwing up all over the place
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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