so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
