the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
