Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
