I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
