its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
