I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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