I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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