she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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