Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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