my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
