I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
