Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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