Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
