As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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