I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
