I'm sorry my penis didn't work
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
