In the future we'll all be gay
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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