she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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