i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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