i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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