I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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