I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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