I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
