Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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