I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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