i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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