And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
