Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
