I think I died a long time ago.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
