You're completely useless in the revolution.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
