I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
