My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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