she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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