I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
