Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize