i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
