You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
