don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
