he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
