RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
