guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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