yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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