So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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