wakey wakey hands off snakey
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
