I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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