Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
