im drinking this country out of the recession.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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